Invisible Illness

It’s 99 degrees Fahrenheit outside right now. It feels like my brain is full of cotton and my body is made of mud. My head hurts. My spine hurts. I can’t brain. Sergio had to take over driving because I almost crashed three times in five minutes in an empty parking lot. It’s very difficult to be a functional person right now.

Invisible illnesses suck. They aren’t nicer or better to deal with than visible ones because you can’t see them.

Everyday I wake up is a choice I make to keep going. This isn’t a hysterical statement. Unfortunately it’s true. Every day I have to make the conscious choice to live that day. And some days are harder than others.

Recently it came to my attention that someone made a comment about how ‘lazy’ I am. As I’m used to this, it didn’t really bother me. What bothered me more was that this particular person is a health care professional that should actually understand the limitation that someone with a congenital brain malformation, spine deformities (and additional spine problems), along with consequences from brain surgery without any access to physical therapy has.

Also considering this person takes medication and cannabis oil for one herniated disc because the pain is usually too much for them to live normally, it adds to my surprise. I guess some people expect perfection from others and only allow themselves to be weak in the sympathies of others.

It’s exhausting.

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